
You’re sitting on the couch, halfway through a show, when your partner looks over and says, “Can we talk later?” Just four words... but your chest tightens. Your stomach drops! And suddenly, the rest of the episode plays in the background while your brain rewinds every interaction from the past week.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not being dramatic. And you’re certainly not needy. You might just be feeling the quite (yet overwhelming) weight of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)—where even small moments can feel like emotional earthquakes.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional sensitivity to perceived or actual rejection. Someone with RSD may:
- Experience shame, anger, or panic after even imagined rejection
- Feel deep emotional pain over what others consider minor constructive feedback
- Fear disappointing loved ones to the point of avoiding closeness
- Become withdrawn or defensive even when no one’s upset with them
RSD is not “overreacting.” It’s a neurobiological response that many people don’t even know they’re experiencing; it can feel like being “too sensitive” or “too much.” But there is more to the story.
Unlike ADHD, RSD is not an official diagnosis, but it is especially common in people with ADHD. In fact, some estimates suggest up to 99% of people with ADHD experience heightened emotional sensitivity, and many struggle with RSD specifically.
This is because ADHD not only affects attention but also emotional regulation. For a brain that is wired to respond quickly and intensely, even neutral interactions can register as threats to connection or belonging.
Many adults with ADHD do not recognise this pattern until they enter serious relationships. Suddenly, emotional reactions feel “out of proportion,” and loved ones may not understand what is happening beneath the surface.
RSD can impact romantic relationships in many ways, especially as it quietly erodes trust and intimacy if it’s left unspoken. For instance, people with RSD may experience situations like:
- Feeling rejected when a partner needs space, even if nothing’s wrong.
- You read too much into texts, tones, or silences.
- You second-guess if you’re annoying, disappointing, or too emotional.
- You might pull away first—before someone else can “leave you.”
Such experiences create a loop consisting of fear of rejection and protective behaviours. This further creates distance, deepening the fear. Hence, many with RSD commonly experience communication problems, emotional distance, and fear to start a new relationship.
Friendships can feel fragile for someone with RSD. For instance, a missed invitation or delayed reply might lead to:
“They must be mad at me.”
“I’m not fun anymore.”
“They’ve replaced me.”
And because the emotional pain is so real, people with RSD may end up isolating themselves or over-apologising for things that weren’t issues in the first place.
The emotional response of RSD is sudden yet intense, often triggered in seconds. But the emotional aftermath—such as shame, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion—can last for hours or even days.
That is why building awareness around your own RSD patterns is a powerful tool for self-compassion and communication.
Is RSD a mental illness?
No. RSD itself is not listed as a mental disorder, but it is very real experience—especially for neurodivergent individuals. It often overlaps with ADHD, trauma, or anxiety.
Can I have RSD without ADHD?
Yes. While RSD is very common in ADHD, you might experience rejection sensitivity due to past emotional wounds, insecure attachment styles, or chronic invalidation.
Can RSD be treated?
RSD is not something to “cure,” but it is absolutely something you can work with. Therapy such as CBT, DBT, or trauma-informed approaches can help you to:
- Regulate emotional reactions
- Untangle thought spirals
- Build confidence in communication
- Feel safer in closeness
ADHD medication can also be helpful for some, especially if emotional regulation is a big hurdle.
How is RSD different from “regular” emotional reactions?
Let’s get one thing straight: no one likes rejection. But RSD is something else: it’s not just feeling bad, it’s feeling crushed, panicked, or ashamed to a degree that seems disproportionate to what happened.
The difference comes down to intensity, speed, and recovery. People with RSD experience emotional pain that is immediate and often overwhelming. What might feel like a small misunderstanding or momentary awkwardness to someone else can feel like a total rejection to someone with RSD. It’s not just, “Ouch, that stung,” but it’s, “They hate me. I messed everything up. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m too much.” And these stick around, replaying on a loop for hours or even days.
At SENS Psychology, we’ve sat across from so many people who say the same thing in different ways:
“Why am I like this?”
“Why do I care so much?”
“Why can’t I just let it go?”
But here’s the truth: caring deeply is not the problem. Feeling deeply isn’t either. What hurts the most is not having the language, or even the support, to understand what is happening inside you.
And look—maybe you’re tired of trying to explain it. Maybe you’ve edited yourself down to fit inside relationships that ask you to feel less. Maybe you’re convinced you are too much.
You’re not.
Like many others, you are just someone who notices emotional gravity before the room tilts. Someone whose radar is too good, sometimes for its own good.
So, if you are looking for a starting point, start here:
- Call it what it is.
- Tell someone safe.
- Stop diagnosing your entire personality based on one off-text.
You’re still here. Still reaching, still feeling, still human. That’s the work and that’s enough.