Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria—Through the Lens of Relationships
You’re sitting on the couch, halfway through a show, when your partner looks over and says, “Can we talk later?” Just four words... but your chest tightens. Your stomach drops! And suddenly, the rest of the episode plays in the background while your brain rewinds every interaction from the past week.
Understanding the Experience
You’re sitting on the couch, halfway through a show, when your partner looks over and says, “Can we talk later?” Just four words... but your chest tightens. Your stomach drops! And suddenly, the rest of the episode plays in the background while your brain rewinds every interaction from the past week.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not being dramatic. And you’re certainly not needy. You might just be feeling the quite (yet overwhelming) weight of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)—where even small moments can feel like emotional earthquakes.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional sensitivity to perceived or actual rejection. Someone with RSD may:
- Experience shame, anger, or panic after even imagined rejection
- Feel deep emotional pain over what others consider minor constructive feedback
- Fear disappointing loved ones to the point of avoiding closeness
- Become withdrawn or defensive even when no one’s upset with them
RSD is not “overreacting.” It’s a neurobiological response that many people don’t even know they’re experiencing; it can feel like being “too sensitive” or “too much.” But there is more to the story.
RSD or ADHD?
Unlike ADHD, RSD is not an official diagnosis, but it is especially common in people with ADHD. In fact, some estimates suggest up to 99% of people with ADHD experience heightened emotional sensitivity, and many struggle with RSD specifically.
This is because ADHD not only affects attention but also emotional regulation. For a brain that is wired to respond quickly and intensely, even neutral interactions can register as threats to connection or belonging.
Many adults with ADHD do not recognise this pattern until they enter serious relationships. Suddenly, emotional reactions feel “out of proportion,” and loved ones may not understand what is happening beneath the surface.
RSD in Romantic Relationships
RSD can impact romantic relationships in many ways, especially as it quietly erodes trust and intimacy if it’s left unspoken. For instance, people with RSD may experience situations like:
- Feeling rejected when a partner needs space, even if nothing’s wrong.
- You read too much into texts, tones, or silences.
- You second-guess if you’re annoying, disappointing, or too emotional.
- You might pull away first—before someone else can “leave you.”
Such experiences create a loop consisting of fear of rejection and protective behaviours. This further creates distance, deepening the fear. Hence, many with RSD commonly experience communication problems, emotional distance, and fear to start a new relationship.
